Wednesday 27 January 2010

DJ Steve Penk to the rescue

How are your New Years Resolutions going?

Gym 5 times a week. I’ve decided 5 times a year as usual is ok for me.

Say “Hi” to neighbours. After 15 years it just felt a little too forced. I avoided their eyes as usual. Just me in this part of town.

Eat less biscuits. Ho Ho!

Answer e-mails promptly. Well if scanning them for anything fruity in the subject line counts then I’m fully up to date on that one.

Write a joke that isn’t to do with suicide. Oh now this one is proving the toughest and until today I thought it would be my downfall (sorry). Two girls jumping from a bridge in Scotland, or the young woman jumping to her death to escape being tortured because she’d talked to another woman’s boyfriend, didn’t bode well for anything amusing. Ok so Morrissey and his suicide controversy on Desert Island Disks might just work out for me, but really I felt a new punch line, for the first time in 30 years might just need to be on a different subject.

However, then DJ Steve Penk came to the rescue. Playing Van Halen’s ‘Jump’ as a woman jumped off a motorway bridge.

He says he’s not ashamed. Would do it again. But really Van Halen? What was he thinking? Plenty of material there I’m sure.

http://uk.news.launch.yahoo.com/dyna/article.html?a=/100118/340/iuwxq.html&e=l_news_dm
(I like the headline “DJ’s Van Halen outrage.” Indeed.)

Thursday 17 December 2009

CENSORED......................

I can’t believe it!!!

I’ve been a musician (oh arguable I know, but really Sid Vicious couldn’t play a note and he’s remembered so very fondly), all of 2 months and I’m all ready on a blacklist, a class A, a written warning, a final reminder, time out, on the naughty step, in solitude, Emergency Call. Facebook requested PRN on my terribly innocent song.

Ok so the fine people of Derby may be slightly offended by the idea that the protagonist of the song should say “f*** you Derby” (self censor! don’t want to get my ass kicked here too), but really I love Derby and I thought they loved me. (Re-naming the area I have bought a cosy little house in there ‘California’ was a lovely touch I think. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/California,_Derby )

And I think dear Shaun Dykes might just have felt that way too. The song is meant to express something of his feelings, point of view perhaps.

Or perhaps its just the double figures swear word count.

Still I can’t complain as I rather like being banned. I will be on the radical edge of civilisation yet! Just you wait, no more Mr Nice Elvita.

Kisses to you all,

And here’s the banned song in all its disgraceful glory.

(music and performance by the maestro Andy Billington www.slugcat.com)

Monday 7 December 2009

B*****!!

Blog. Blllllllooooooog. Blog g g g g g g g g. Blowwwwwwg. Blorrrrrrg. Bloggy. All blogged out. Blogiglyblog. Blogblogblog. B! L! O! G! Blog.

It’s a really really lovely word. And if you haven’t spoken it outloud a lot. Over and over, in many styles and accents. Then you’re really missing out.

But eventually you’ve got to actually get down. Stop saying it. And doing it. So here it is. My transatlantic, Concord hopping (if only I still could) blog. For you. The fans. The beautiful people.

Stay just the way you are, I love you all.

xxxx